Confessions of a Gun Nut

VID01527OK, I’m a Gun Nut & You Wouldn’t Understand

It’s time to get real with myself and understand this fact–I’m a Gun Nut. I live for the feel of the grip, the lining of the sights, the squeeze of the trigger and the smell of gun powder. The thrill of hitting the target in a one inch group cannot be explained. It’s like this 47-yea- old man is a 16-year-old kid who just scored a date with the hot chick in school. A sensation that can’t be explained. Obsession? Uh yeah. A “show off” at heart? You bet. Nothing like the feeling of going to the range just to have guys look at my stuff in amazement and ask, “How much was that?” Or looking at the guy next to me thinking, “Man I need that gun.” It’s the butterflies in the stomach and sweat on my forehead before taking the first shots while wondering if I still have it. Sure, I’ve experienced fun things in life, but shooting guns is a category of its own. See, I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Then there are the daily gun websites that I need to check. Every spare moment I have is looking for the newest and greatest deals. I spot a gun that I just need to have and wonder how I got through 47 years of my life without it. My head spins as I justify how much I need it. Did I say need it? Yes, of course, because this gun offers more features than any gun I have and the zombie apocalypse is coming. Being a good family man it is my responsibility to protect my family by all means. Certainly my wife would understand–right? Yeah right I used that excuse last time. Thoughts rapidly run through my head about how I’m going to pay for it. Well, if I sell this old ball glove and eat peanut butter sandwiches for a month certainly I could afford it. But wait, I need to check out my other gun websites. Hang on, I found another gun I cannot live without. But this one is even better and, “Look honey, it’s ‘on sale’.” I think I need to sell more stuff. The process repeats itself as I am convinced that I need this gun for my mere existence. See, I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Why do I go through my gun safes and fondle my firearms as if they are precious pieces of gold and silver? I’m a gun nut, that’s why. I often find myself unloading the mags, manipulating the slide and dry firing while walking around the house pretending I’m being invaded. Is this normal? I can go to the garage and grab a football and begin to play with it exactly as it is intended but not with guns. I resist the temptation of shooting the ground in my backyard while convincing myself that I’m only doing this for a function check. Guns can only be fired only at specific legal places. Then there are range fees and ammunition costs. Oh no, it’s the money thing again! Lets not go there. So I open the safe and play with my guns like some little kid who just got a new toy. I then realize that there are more guns that I need to have so I run back to the computer to shop for the best deals. A firearm enthusiast? Most definitely–but I prefer you just refer to me as an average “Gun Nut.” See, I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Dan Abraham